This is part of the script from Episode 12 of the Epic Saga anime, owned and produced by GAINAX and co-owned by Gamecom. It's from one of the scenes where a frustated Beecanoe runs into Jared after a standard mission


[Jared enters the WOA Headquarters with enthusiasm. He notices how quiet it is inside, unlike how it usually is]

Jared: Hello? I'm home!!!

[The Saurian's looking around, seeing nothing but the members doing something productive... Whatever it is]

Genius Guy: Oh, salutations, Mr. Raigon.

Jared: You lot are awfully stoic this fine evening. What goes on?

[ETG shrugs]

E.T.G.: I wish we knew...

Galactic Petey: Petey and the others were just relaxing for a change. In fact, Genius thought it was a nice swap-up, compared to... Y'know.

[Jared opens his mouth whole and looks with anxiety]

Jared: {mutters} Wow. Anyhoo, where's Beecan-----

Mr. Bones: Oh, that's right, I forgot!

[Mr. Bones and Dry Paratroopa hop up from the sofa and give Jared a note]

Mr. Bones: You gotta read it, kid.

Jared: Well, what is IT, anyway?

Mr. Bones: Some sorta note from Beec. {sighs} He ain't happy, I'll say that much.

E.T.G.: (The only things that make Beecanoe happy are ultimate power and women. Two objects that a person, or in this case, Dry Bones, lusts for. Very self-explanatory)

[Jared opens the note and reads it]

Jared: "Dear, Stupid Rock Creature. What kind of tool are you to take my lady away? Haven't you realized that the writers for this anime won't like it if a Saurian and an alien are to make out in total paradise? Anyways, swing by the Mountains of Illumino to meet me in there so we can fight in special conditions... And also, bring Sephira or else your damn hide will be mine for eternity! Hahahahahahaha!!! Signed, Beecanoe Drygly. P.S. When this is over, do you wanna buy the newest copy of Sonic Generations? It's a bloody neat game, man! P.S.S. Oh yeah, there's this, too: SEPHIRA WILL BE MINE!"

Mr. Bones: Oh, what the hell has he gotten himself into, this time?

Jared: I have no clue, but it has to do with Sephira...

[Petey facepalms himself]

Galactic Petey: What is it with Beecanoe that we don't understand? Petey mean, sure Petey has a great deal of respect for him, but it's also hightime someone make him think otherwise.

E.T.G.: He truly loves her, that's for sure... But at the same time, he never agreed to having females on a team that's essentially made up of males.

Jared: If anything, I've got to get over there immediately and bring Beecanoe back. (He is so dense, sometimes)

[Jared leaves right out of the headquarters and enters the Ship of Dark Entities in order to catch up to where Beec is staying at]

Genius Guy: I fear something bad may happen... But it would be at least SMASHING to see the Dry Bones's reaction.

All: Yes!


[Jared lands the ship to the Mountains of Illumino, seeing nothing but heavy rain and snow in the area]

Jared: Crikey! This is the Mountains of Illumino? It doesn't seem as peaceful as I thought it would be.

Sephira: Yo, future husban----

Jared: WWWWWWWHOOA!!!!!!

[Jared lands flat on his back, trying to get back his balance after being startled by Sephira]

Jared: You were staying in the ship this whole entire time?

Sephira: I wanted to follow you back into the place, but it was TOO COLD in there. Seriously, how do you guys even withstand that room temperature? What are you, ghosts or somethin'?

Jared: {shrugs}

Sephira: Oh, well...

[Sephira walks up behind Jared and kisses him on the cheek]

Jared: What the---!?



[Just then, behind a nearby mountain, reddish-blue eyes were glowing from behind]

Jared: W-w-w-why would you do that?!

Sephira: 'Cause I love you!

[After catching his breath, Jared took Sephira down to the floor]

Jared: It's not that I don't like you or anything, Sephira, because I fully think you are a very valuable asset to my team and such, but honestly... I don't want your kisses!

Sephira: What also amazes me is that you were dumbfounded by this the first few times it happened in the show.

Jared: It's fine if you love me, but please, at least send those gifts to Beecanoe, himself.

[Sephira later takes Jared's hand]

Sephira: You wanna know why I don't like Beec? He's always a showoff, he's aggressive, and, like, he doesn't even shower! What Dry Bones doesn't shower in this world, huh?

???: THAT would be me.

Jared: Beecanoe!

[Beecanoe came down from the mountain he was behind and dragged Jared off his feet]


Beecanoe: How nice. My two favorite people are sharing romantic matters without yours truly. What have you got to say for yourself now?!?!

Jared: I value Sephira as an incredibly worthy ally to the team, not as a love interest.

Beecanoe: So it's the other way around, hmm??

Jared: Yeah, I believe...

[Beecanoe shakes his head, but now looks even madder than before]

Beecanoe: Do you realize that Sephira's my damn hubby, fool?! Have you ever started to think, "Oh, maybe I shouldn't see Sephy-chan as a girlfriend anyway since we're just working buddies"?!

Jared: It was never like that.

Sephira: How about shuttin' up, Beec? It would make things go more, like, swimmingly for u---

Beecanoe: You deserve absolutely no room to talk, Sephy-chan. I feel sympathy for you, at least.

Sephira: (I don't for you...)

Jared: Seriously, Beecanoe... Calm down right this instant or I'll have no other option but punishment!

Beecanoe: I should be punishing YOU for breaking the law of fanservice!

[Jared seethes in near rage]


Beecanoe: It means that, in order to win the heart of Sephira, we're gonna have to make a formidable challenge.

Sephira: Why do you care, exactly? You're heartless!

Beecanoe: And you are hot... Period.

Jared: So what do you suggest we do?

Beecanoe: I was about to say Karaoke Contest, but apparently, the only logical one has to be Video Games. Sephira, summon up a massive, wireless plasma TV, please!

Sephira: {sighs}

[Sephira uses one of her hidden abilites to bring a television set from up above, complete with a Nintendo Wii, console controllers, and four individual games]

Beecanoe: I would like to point out that this TV and the Wii, itself, are both water-resistant.

Jared: Can we please got on with the challenge, already?

Beecanoe: {chuckles} Very well. So now this is the challenge in which we will duke it out here!

Jared: You said in the note that we were going to be fighting...

Beecanoe: Yeeees...

Jared: ....And what you meant by that is physically.

Beecanoe: Yeeees...

Jared: Why in the hell did you ever need all these unnecessary objects, then?

Beecanoe: Okay, by fight, I actually should've mention you will go up against me in four different games; we have Super Smash Bros. Brawl, New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Guitar Hero 5, and Kirby Returns to Dream Land. Try to best me in terms of high score if you can, but still, I'M THE MASTER!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sephira: I never heard you say you were, like, good at Guitar Hero...

[Beecanoe bangs his head on the TV screen]

Beecanoe: Whatever.

[To be continued?]